Security Code
by mmmtoes
Summary: Please type in the eight characters and five words you see in the box below for us to make sure that you are a human and not a robot.


**Ah.. I'm working on the second chapter of Uchiha Sasuke Does Not Like Men (USDNLM) (Wow, even the abbreviation is long) right now. But, in the mean time, I got an idea. I got this idea from my older sister. She came to me like, two days ago complaining. "You know what I REALLY, REALLY hate?" And so I asked, "What?" And she said, "When I type the password in wrong, AND SUDDENLY, I HAVE TO DO THIS. STUPID. VERIFICATION...THING. LIKE. YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU HAVE TO WRITE WEIRD LETTERS AND STUFF, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE NUMBERS OR LETTERS!" And I was like, "I HATE THOSE TOO. YOU MEAN LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T TELL WHETHER THE F IS AN H, OR THE 9 IS A T? UGH. ITS SO STUPID." "YEAHHH!" And so, from that, it gave birth to an idea in my mind. Also, today, I was in her room, talking to her about something, when all of a sudden, in the middle of our conversation, "UGHHH. OOOOHMMYGOD." -type type type- "HOLY. CRAP. WHAT THE HELL." -keyboard click. CLICKITY CLACK CLACK CLICK. Boop- "HOLY %&*(!$%.". I looked over her shoulder and realized she was typing in a security thingie. So, I rushed out of her room and into mine, typing away. **

**Well, that's how I remember it. I have really bad memory. Sorry. Well, that's how it probably did go. **

**Anyway, first one shot! ENJOY. READ AND REVIEW!**

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><p><em>Sorry, the password you have entered is incorrect. Please try again.<em>

"GAH. This is so FRUSTRATING!" Naruto screamed as he ripped out some of his blonde hair in frustration. He furiously typed something else.

_Too many failed attemps. Security code required. Please type in the eight characters and five words you see in the box below for us to make sure that you are a human and not a robot._

"WHAT? A ROBOT! WHAT THE HELL. ARE YOU SERIOUS!"

The frustrated blonde looked at the box with the jumbled words, letters, and numbers in confusion.

"What the hell?... Is that supposed to be a V or a B?... God damnit!"

He whipped out his phone and texted everyone.

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><p><strong>To: <strong>Teme, Neji, Shikamaru, Mutt, Bushy Brows, Sai, Chouji, Shino, Gaara, Kankurou, Temari, Ino, Tenten, Hinata-chan, Sakura-chan, Teme's Brother, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Konan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Kisame, Zetsu, Nagato

Guys. This is serious. I need your help. This is really, really, REALLY, important. I need you all to come over ASAP.

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><p>He sighed as he pressed send and looked back at his computer screen, glaring.<p>

"That one has to be an R..." He mumbled.

Not long after he sent the text, twenty-five different people scattered across the city recieved the urgent message.

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><p>"What could possibly be so important? Geez, that idiot." Ino sighed as she took off her dirty green gardening apron thing, and called towards the back of the shop.<p>

"MOM. CAN YOU TAKE OVER FOR ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE? SOMETHING CAME UP. I'LL BE BACK!" And with that, she left.

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><p>Sakura was with Hinata, browsing in the local bookstore, when both of their phones beeped.<p>

"Uhm, Sakura-chan. S-something... N-Naruto-kun.." Hinata said nervously, blushing tomato red at the fact that Naruto has texted her.

Sakura sighed. "You too? I got it too. Let's go." Hinata nodded and rushed off to Naruto's with Sakura.

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><p>Doot doot! Doot doot!<p>

"What? Oh."

Tenten was interrupted from her Knives-Sharpening-Time at home by her ...dooting phone.

She sighed as she read the message. "God, that stupid idiot. What could've happened THIS time?" He better not be making me rush over there to chop up his food for him again.

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><p>(Sasuke's giganto mansion)<p>

BZZ BZZ BZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ.

Sasuke paused the game of CoD: Black Ops and checked his phone at the same time as Neji, Shikamaru, and Sai.

"Guess you guys are heading over to Dickless' too, right?" Sai creepily smiled his fake smile.

"Aa."

"Hn."

"Troublesome..."

As they stood up from the couches in the living room, Itachi and his creepy group stumbled down the stairs.

"Ah! Foolish younger brother! And his friends! Are you about to make your way to Naruto-kun's house too?"

The group of creepy creepers freezed mid-shove, trampling over eachother trying to get down the stairs. They all stopped and looked at the younger ones.

"Yeah... Naruto did something stupid again." Shikamaru scratched the back of his head and yawned as he looked back at the creepy looking group.

So, in a group, they all left in the direction of Naruto's house.

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><p>(You can just make up your own way of how the others got there. Too lazy xD)<p>

"Wow. So, we all got here at the same time, huh." Kiba pet Akamaru as he said this. Twenty-five people and a dog stood a the doorstep of Naruto's house. Sakura pressed the doorbell. They heard some loud stomping and some crashes and thumps before Naruto finally swung the door open.

"C'MON GUYS. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME. HURRY."

He ran upstairs and everyone followed. How he manages to fit 25 people and a dog in his home, I do not know.

They all crowded into his room as he sat down on at his desk. They looked at him expectantly.

"Well? What did you need our help for, yeah?" Deidara looked at him with a brow raised, crossing his arms.

"Erm... well. Can you guys come over here? Look at this. I need your help...erm. Deciphering.. this. I ... sorta forgot my password for a bit.. I remember it now! But I entered the wrong one too many times... so now I have to write down the letters and stuff that I'm SUPPOSED to be able to see in this... box.. thing." He pointed at his screen, with a sheepish grin.

They all looked at him. A dead pan expression donning all of their faces. They continued to stare for about 2 more minutes before Sakura sighed and walked over to his computer.

"Well, it's not that hard. I mean, that one over there's obviously a B," Sakura said, pointing at the first character.

"Sakura. I'm sorry, but that is clearly V," Neji corrected her. By now, everyone else was crowded around the computer, looking at the little box containing the characters and words.

"That second one is a 4," Sasuke claimed, crossing his arms.

"Foolish little brother, that is definitely not a four. It's unmistakably, a Z," Itachi bent down, closer to the screen, inspecting the numbers and letters. Sasuke glared at him.

"Art is a BANG, Yeah. Obviously, only a true artist would be able to decipher this. Move along." Deidara squirmed his way to the front, tired of tippy-toe-ing over the crowd to see the screen. Everyone watched Deidara closely as he inspected the screen, like Itachi was. His eyes squinted at the screen.

"...Well. The word over there's got to be penis." Deidara pointed to the last word in the box.

"Oh, yeah! It does look like a penis!" Naruto exclaimed.

"YOU DUMBASS. He said THE WORD is penis, not that it looks LIKE A penis." Kiba reached over and hit him in the head.

"OW! STUPID MUTT. BUT SERIOUSLY. LOOK! Doesn't that shape look like a penis? In the scribbles over there!"

"Wow. It does look like a penis. I'm surprised you even know what it looks like, considering you don't even have a one, Dickless," Sai commented.

"WHAT WAS THAT? HUH?" Naruto stood up and turned around to look at Sai.

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN. I'M TRYING TO LOOK AT THE STUPID THING YOU FUCKING CALLED ME HERE FOR. ALRIGHT?" Hidan screamed.

"OKAY, OKAY. DON'T KILL SOMEBODY." Naruto sat back down.

After a few more minutes of silence, while everyone concentrated on the task at hand, Lee bursted out.

"MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS. I'VE GOT IT! It's VZF2K9R7! Though, I have yet to figure out the other words. But... penis... is one of them for sure..."

"Uhh.. Bushy Brow kid? How did you manage to get F? That's not an F. It's a D..." Konan raised a brow at Bushy Brows.

"Oh..."

"HEY. SHIKA-KUN. YOU'RE THE GENIUS HERE, HEL- Oh, god. Really?" Ino sighed as she turned around to look for her fellow teammate, only to find him sleeping on Naruto's bed. Speaking of which, his room was actually surprising clean today.

"Shikamaru, you stupid lazy piece of shit! WAKE UP!" Temari walked over and kicked him in the side.

"HEY! DON'T TOUCH HIM! I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF." Ino walked over to Shikamaru and slapped him in the face.

"WAKE UP YOU DUMB SHIT. DON'T JUST SLEEP ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BED LIKE THAT!"

But, unfortunately, even after all the abuse and screaming, the Lazy Genius, still didn't wake up. Though, the fighting blondes failed to notice him crack open one of his eyes and snapping it shut again after seeing the screaming girls, obviously not wanting to deal with them.

As they continued to argue, everyone else continued to focus on the little characters they've been trying to decipher.

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><p>Sakura sighed as she sat down on his carpet. "OHMYGOODNESS. I'm BEAT. Intensively staring at that screen so closely for so long really hurts my eyes. I'm tired. You guys figure the rest out. Though, Konan-san is right. The third one's definitely a D. Also, the last character is 5, Lee. Not seven."<p>

She lied down on his surprisingly clean carpet and stretched her limbs out. By now, only about one-third of the people were left. Everyone else gave up and were either resting on the ground talking to someone, downstairs in the living room watching TV, downstairs in the living room eating ramen, or downstairs in the kitchen making ramen and eating the ramen, since the only existing food in his house was ramen. The only one's still trying to get the rest of the characters and words were, Naruto, Neji, Lee, Sasuke, Hinata, Deidara, Hidan, Konan, Kisame, and Zetsu. Oh, yea. Temari and Ino were sitting on either side of Sleeping Shikamaru on the bed, tired from arguing.

Two more hours later, Naruto finally got almost everything.

"YES. THE LAST LETTER I NEEDED TO THIS PIECE OF SHIT. Now, I only need ONE more word." So far, they had **VZD3K9R5**. The words were, **Perverse, Voldemort, Seaweed, **and the last one is **Penis.** They still needed the second last word.

Now, the only one's still looking were Naruto, Sasuke, Lee, and Neji. All of the Creepy Creeper Akatsuki group had already went downstairs and took up the living room playing Mario Kart on the Wii and eating ramen. Akamaru was sleeping on the ground, Chouji, Shino, Kiba, and Kankurou, also eating from Naruto's magic never ending quantity and variety of ramen. Instant Ramen, Cup Noodle Ramen, ramen specially delivered to his house by Ichiraku, Miso ramen, beef ramen, chicken ramen, ramen flavoured chips... RAMEN.

"Guys, that says sprinters for sure."

"I'm telling you, dobe. That word is sparkles. It is."

"Uchiha. That word definitely says sprinkles."

"My fellow youthful friends, I do believe it says spray tan."

They all looked at him as if his bushy eyebrows got even bushier.

After a few more minutes on a debate of whether the word was sparkles or sprinkles, Hinata put her beef ramen down, walked over and looked at it.

"U-uhm. N-Naruto-kun. It says s-sprinkles.. N-Neji-nii san i-is r-right.." Hinata stuttered a bit more than usual since she was nervous being in Naruto's house and standing so close to him.

"Hm... I guess you're right, Hinata-chan! Teme, you're stupid." He turned to Hinata and grinned. She fainted.

"U-UWAH! SHES DEAD! OH CRAP. WHAT DID I DO! OH GOD. NEJI! PLEASE! I DIDN'T TOUCH HER! N-NO! GAH!" Neji turned to Naruto when Hinata fainted, glaring at him, slowly advancing towards him, menacingly.

"It is sprinkles.. Tch. Damned Dobe. Come over here and type it in already." Sasuke was getting impatient.

"O-okay..." Naruto limped over to his chair and sat down, typing it in.

"HE'S TYPING IT. WE'RE DONE. WE'RE DONE! YES. FINALLY!" Sakura and Tenten finally yelled out, and prancing and jumping around the room. Everyone ran upstairs with their ramen and game controllers in hand, hearing this. They all crowded around the computer again, intensely watching Naruto type it in.

"V.. Z, D...Three, K, nine, R. Five..." Naruto mumbled while carefully typing it in, one by one, not wanting to make a mistake.

"P-E-R-V-E-R-S-E...space... V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T...space... S-E-A-W-E-E-D...space...S-P-R-I-N-K-L-E-S...space... YES! P-E-N-I-S! I GOT IT. IT'S DONE." He pressed enter in joy and waited for the screen to load. Everyone stared at the loading screen, tension filling the air.

...Loading...Loading...

_Security code incorrect. Are you sure you're not a robot? Please type in the new eight characters and five words you see in the box below for us again._

"FU-"

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><p><strong>The end! Hehe. Like it? Love it? Hate it? <strong>

**Read and review! ;)**


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